Lose Yourself
by CheatingAtMonkeyBall
Summary: Tori's late, and that is possibly the worst thing that could happen on that day. Jori (friendship or whatever.) A story about depression and self harm and how serious an issue it is.


_This is simply based on the song "Dark Enough." Warning: self harm and depression._

It was a typical day at Hollywood Arts, except Tori Vega was running late. Oh, this was the absolute worst thing that could have happened this morning! She'd have to walk in late to class, Sikowitz would be mad that she'd been late, she'd probably be interrupting a scene, and she'd have to walk right in front of everyone to get to her seat in the front. Standing behind the door she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. _Okay, Tori, just smile. Don't think about it now._

As she plastered a fake smile on her face she marched into the classroom, ducking her head and swiftly sitting in her chair. Jade was performing a monologue at the front of the class, and the way she looked at Tori made the Latina's stomach drop. Tori had just started to be on good terms with Jade, and now this interruption would cost her a week's worth of hard work surely. _Stay smiling_, she thinks to herself as she rubs at her arm under her sleeves. It was only a few hours to lunch, and who knows, maybe she could sneak out to the bathroom in between classes.

Of course Jade was frustrated that Tori interrupted her scene. For once all the attention had been on the raven-haired girl, but as soon as Tori walked in with her perfect self and her vibrant smile everyone's eyes shifted towards her. Of course Jade kept doing her scene as she would if this were a real performance; Sikowitz would grade her harshly if she had paused. Jade stared at Tori who's bright smile sickened her, but then she looked at her eyes.

Those eyes did not fit that pretty face and that sweet smile. Those chocolate brown eyes were sad, and looking at them Jade knew Tori was not mentally present at all. Just as she was finishing her scene she gasped. Jade knew that look all to well. As the class clapped for her performance she touched her stomach. _No,_ Jade thought, blinking at the falsely lit Latina, _Tori would never…_ Then Tori scratched at her arm, and Jade couldn't deny what she thought any longer.

Jade walked slowly off the stage, not hearing the congratulations. She saw Tori's fake smile flinch as she walked past. Jade sat at the back of the class watching the Latina closely. "May I go to the restroom?" Tori asked sweetly, her voice ever too chipper. _No… _The Latina stood up, and Jade grabbed her arm as if by instinct. The raven-haired girl tried to ignore the hiss of pain she heard from the other girl.

Jade grabbed Tori's hand and dragged her out of the room and to the bathroom. Jade locked the door and turned on the other girl. "Show me," she commanded fiercely. Tori looked confused and only smiled at the girl some more. Her eyes betrayed her; they panicked at Jade's command. "Take off your shirt. Show me your arms."

Tori clenched her fists nervously. "Jade, what are you even talking about?" Jade raised her shirt to silence the girl. Tori's eyes seemed to glaze as she looked over those scars. Deep, red, twenty-six in total. Tori's smile fell as she reached out to touch Jade's stomach, feeling the scars as if they weren't real. Her fingers were gentle and soothing; Jade's stomach muscles tensed at the touch, as if they expected something to hurt them.

"Now you," Jade said softly as she pulled down her shirt, "I want to see." A tear spilled from Tori's face, but at least she wasn't smiling. Slowly the Latina pulled the shirt off her body. Jade stepped closer to the girl and studied the scars closely. There were twelve on one arm, fifteen on another; there were five on her stomach and two on her chest above each breast.

Jade traced the particularly deep scars and looked up at the other girl's face. Tears were rolling off her cheekbones, and she was staring at Jade desperately. "I hate this." Jade knew what _this_ is; she'd always known. _This _was herself, the standards she didn't think she fit, the person she thought she didn't embody, the opinions she forced on other people, every little mistake she'd ever made.

The raven-haired girl knelt on the ground and stared at Tori's stomach. The flat abdominal muscles flexed as she sobbed. Jade kissed one, and Tori gasped. Jade stood and kissed a particularly deep scar on Tori's arm. Somehow their hands found each other, and each girl clenched onto each other for support, both giving and receiving. "I know," Jade finally whispered, encompassing the other girl into a hug.

* * *

_Hey guys, I got this as a prompt on tumblr, and it really spoke to me. I want to let you know that if you feel like hurting yourself or ending your life, please talk to someone. You are never as alone as you think you are. You are never as bad or disappointing or as much a failure as you think you are._ Please, if you do feel like hurting yourself, talk to someone. If you think someone else might need help, please don't hesitate to talk to them. You honestly could change their life.__


End file.
